


Guys Who Wear Glasses Should Definitely Make Passes

by Chrysanine



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: First Time, Humor, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-30
Updated: 2014-05-30
Packaged: 2018-01-27 02:48:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,829
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1712150
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chrysanine/pseuds/Chrysanine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kono meddles. This is the result. </p>
            </blockquote>





	Guys Who Wear Glasses Should Definitely Make Passes

**Author's Note:**

> Written for [](http://their-darkness.livejournal.com/profile)[**their_darkness**](http://their-darkness.livejournal.com/) [Steve McGarrett Glasses Kink Meme](http://their-darkness.livejournal.com/68677.html?thread=615493). I wrote a ficlet for that and then decided to rewrite it. This is the result. ::looks at result:: Hmmm. Much thanks to [](http://ana-p.livejournal.com/profile)[](http://ana-p.livejournal.com/) **ana_p**   who looked this over and said it didn’t suck!
> 
> Originally written in 2011 and posted at my lj.   
> I don't own these characters I'm just playing with them.

  


****

 

“Admit it now. I am the master of the universe,” Kono sashays up to Danny at the computer table.

“Oh? And why would that be?” Danny asks as he flicks through the latest crime scene photos. Because 5-0 attracts insanity in its many varied forms, this week’s whack job likes to pick her men out of a speed dating service. Then she lures them away and kills them. And what kind of men does she like? Not short, loud Jersey boys with attitude to spare who can be romantic, no, she likes them tall, dark and nerdy. They’re not sure why. Maybe she had some traumatic nerd related tragedy in childhood and now it’s playing out after years of festering deep inside. Maybe a nerd broke her heart and slept with her sister. Whatever the reason, 5-0 has been asked to step in. Since Danny is the short, loud Jersey boy, Kono doesn’t have the proper biological equipment and Chin is needed to run the actual equipment that just leaves Steve.

God help them all. There’s already a bet going that the coffee shop being used is going to be a fire bombed husk before 9 pm. Danny’s got twenty bucks on a shoot out by 8:30.

“I dressed Steve.” Danny can hear the smirk in her voice. This should be good. She dragged Steve out of the office a few hours earlier. Poor bastard looked like someone had kicked his puppy the way he was pouting. As he turns, Danny has a million and one jokes he can make about how she must have plastered Steve’s hair to his head and shoved a pocket protector somewhere only to have his mouth fall open and no sound come out. The blood in his body rushes south and he mentally curses Kono and the conversation about kinks they had after the sexting escapade a few weeks ago. “Don’t worry. I already took pictures and sent them to your phone.”

“Oh. My. God.” He is never drinking with her ever again because she’s managed to hit almost every kink he’s got where Steve’s clothing is concerned. As if the dress uniform kink wasn’t enough there was this. Through the windows of Steve’s office they can see Steve and Chin going over some of the equipment for tonights little jaunt into dating hell. Mr. I-have-fifteen-pairs-of-cargo-pants is actually dressed in black slacks and a white button down shirt.

“So what kind of nerd do you think he is?” Kono says softly leaning towards him.

“Hmm?” Danny takes a deep breath as Steve picks up a tie from his desk and loops it around his neck, letting it hang undone as he nods at something Chin says. Danny recognizes that tie. It’s the blue silk he keeps in his desk. After tonight he’ll probably never see it again because he’s certain Steve will destroy it. If the tie manages to return to him unscathed it’ll disappear into the drawer next to his bed.

“There are two types of nerds in the world,” Kono starts to explain, her breath tickling Danny’s ear. “Those who can quote the stats of their World of Warcraft toons and are so hopeless socially it’ll be a miracle if they ever procreate and then there are the dark horses.”

Danny absently wonders if it would be considered bad form to walk into Steve’s office, push Steve onto the couch, climb into his lap and beg for it. He tries to deflect the conversation onto safer territory. “Wait, you know what World of Warcraft is?”

“I don’t just surf, Danny, pay attention.” Kono raises the eyebrow of doom.

“Paying attention.”

“Dark horses are the nerdy guys who are a lot of fun.” Kono sits on the computer table and gets comfortable. “They can be sweet and wonderful. They also fuck like it’s their job.” She smiles at the shudder that goes through Danny’s body. “It’s like they took an advanced course in the Kama Sutra and got an A. What kind of nerd do you think Steve is?”

Danny’s learned a few things about Kono, like how under that sweet smile she’s got one of the dirtiest minds ever. That she likes corsets and has a whip somewhere in her apartment. She’s an expert at kissing. She also doesn’t play fair. Getting Danny drunk enough to admit a few kinks was one thing, but Kono also managed to get Danny to confess that he has a fourteen year old girl crush on his partner.

That crush is probably why she’s done this. She’ll never sleep with anyone on their team. For all his hotness, Chin swings too close to her on the family tree. Danny doesn’t do casual and Kono’s looking for Mr. or Ms. Right Now. Finally, Steve is her crazy ninja mentor, her boss and, apparently the love of Danny’s life. As long as Steve is all of those things he’s firmly off limits in her mind. So while fucking them is off limits, fucking with their love lives is not. This is her twisted way of helping Danny.

By torturing him.

“I hate you,” he said putting his face in his palms.

“Not yet you don’t.” Kono laughs. “Wait for it.”

Danny peeks between his fingers to see Chin hand something to Steve. The glasses Steve slips on are thick black along the top and rimless on the bottom and Danny realizes he is so screwed. “Dammit, Kono, was that your idea or Chin’s?” He sits down hard on the computer table.

“Does it matter?” They watch as Steve looks around testing whatever technical miracle Chin’s put in them. “Hmmm...” Kono gives him a sly look and Danny wants to kill himself. “He kind of looks like a hot college professor. You know if you’re lucky maybe he’ll bend you over his desk for a little extra credit.”

Danny whines and covers his head with his hands. “I hate you _so_ much right now.”

“Say, it.”

“Evil woman.”

“Close but not quite. Say it.”

“Psychopath.”

“That’s our suspect. Say it.”

“Fine, Master of the Universe.”

Kono gives him a pleased smile and then smacks him upside his head. “Chin’s leaving. Go help Steve put on his tie.” Then she slips a paper into his pocket. “That’s the corset I want as a thank you present. You’re welcome.” She bounces out behind Chin, waving to Steve as she goes.

Shaking his head, Danny scoots back on the table until his knees hit the edge before lying down. Staring at the ceiling Danny has to wonder, how has this become his life? He’s in love with an insane man with possible suicidal tendencies and he’s got a teammate who doesn’t blink at sending him jerk off material. Chin’s the only sane bastard out of the entire lot of them. No, Chin will be on the news one day after having snapped and taken them all out. _“He was so nice!”_ someone will say to the reporters. _“Real quiet guy. Kept to himself.”_ Danny puts his hands on his face once more and wonders if he should just commit himself to an asylum now.

Steve’s footsteps echo across the room. “You know, if Chin catches you on the table he’s gonna put you on the terrorist watch list,” the amusement in Steve’s voice is plain to hear.

Danny smiles under his hands. “I know. I’ll move in a moment.” There’s a tap on the side of one of Danny’s knees and he automatically shifts so that Steve can stand between them. He marvels at this for a few seconds. Just like Danny can walk right into Steve’s space and his house without a worry, Steve can automatically move into his space without sparking alarm bells. It might trigger a rant but they both know that it’s mainly for show these days. And isn’t it telling that Danny spreads his legs instead of shifting to one side or the other? So fucking screwed.

With a sigh, Danny slides his hands up and over his hair before placing them under his head. His eyes make the slow journey up Steve’s body and he thinks about slowly unbuttoning that shirt like he’s unwrapping a Christmas present. He thinks about kissing Steve’s chest as each inch of skin is revealed to him. He’s wanted to suck kisses into Steve’s neck for months, claim him some way. He wants to push Steve onto the nearest horizontal surface and climb on top of him. “You look good in my tie, babe.”

Steve bites his lip and Danny wonders if it’s as soft as it looks. “Mind helping me tie it?”

Danny chuckles. “I’ve seen your dress uniform, Steven. I know you know how to tie a tie.”

Steve raises an eyebrow and shakes his head. Leaning forward, his hands travel up Danny’s thighs, a thumb skimming over Danny’s covered erection before hooking into his belt and pulling Danny towards him. Danny gasps when he comes into contact with Steve’s hard on and god, spreading his legs was an excellent idea. “So,” Steve says as he bends over Danny bringing their bodies together. “Not,” he nips at Danny’s chin. “The point,” he sucks Danny’s lower lip into his mouth.

Months of fantasizing didn’t prepare Danny for the real thing because this was so much better than anything his brain could have come up with. _And look at that_ , Danny haphazardly thinks, as his arms come down and clutch at Steve’s back, _his lower lip really is as soft as it looks._ He plunges his hands into Steve’s hair, tilting his head so that Danny can deepen the kiss. He rocks against Steve and smiles smugly at the resulting groan before flicking a few buttons open and licking a stripe up Steve’s adams apple.

It’s as Steve lifts his head to move that Danny puts his hand to the other man’s cheek stopping him. “You ok?” Steve asks breathlessly placing his own hand on top of Danny’s. That gesture as much as anything makes Danny’s heart do a flip.

“Your eyes are blue today,” Danny says and Steve looks so adorably confused that Danny has to laugh. “It’s a…a thing I’ve noticed. Sometimes they’re green; sometimes they’re blue depending on what you wear.” He shakes his head and hides his face against Steve’s neck, embarrassed. When he finally dares to peek, Danny finds a blush on Steve’s face. “You blush? I would have thought they’d outlaw stuff like that in the SEALs.”

“That’s…probably the most romantic thing anyone’s ever said to me,” Steve looks at Danny like he’s the newest, shiniest most destructive weapon ever made. He plants a kiss on the palm of Danny’s hand before going slightly cross eyed. He pulls the glasses off and tosses them on the table before kissing Danny again. “How much time do we have?” he asks before attaching himself to Danny’s neck.

Danny lifts his arm off Steve’s back and tries to remember if he can tell time while Steve is busy undoing their pants. “Umm..oh, god that feels good. um..ten? Fifteen minutes?” Steve’s hand closes around his cock and while that feels absolutely wonderful and vital to his existence… ”Steve, you can’t get your pants stained! Did Kono get you a second pair?”

There’s a thud as Steve’s head hits the desk and he slumps for a moment so apparently that’s a no on the pants front. He leans up and opens his mouth.

“I am not putting my bare ass on this table, Steven. Chin will put us on the terrorist watch list and then crucify us.” Danny shakes his head when Steve opens his mouth again. “If we break this table humping naked on it they’ll never find our bodies, babe. It doesn’t matter how sneaky you are, Chin just _knows_ shit. He’s kind of freaky like that.” Danny pats Steve’s shoulder sympathetically. “It’s ok, Steven, this happens to lots of guys. We’ll try again later.”

Hmmm. That might not have been the smartest thing to say. The look Steve is giving him is usually a precursor to explosions and makes Danny wonder if the man’s got a grenade in his pocket. He leaves Danny holding nothing but air for a few moments before dragging one of the office chairs over to the table. At Danny’s confused expression, Steve smirks and adjusts the chair so that it’s the right height. “I can’t get stained, but nothing says that you can’t.” Before Danny can protest, Steve pins his hips to the table and takes him in his mouth.  
   
“Wait! Wait!” It shouldn’t be ridiculously hot when Steve pauses with Danny’s dick in his mouth and looks up at him, but it is. “I should probably tell you that I don’t do casual very well,” Danny bites his lip and wonders if he’s messed everything up when Steve pulls off of him with a wet plop. Then he yelps as Steve nips the inside of his hip.

“You keep telling me you’re a detective, Danny,” Steve says propping his chin on a hand while the other lazily jacks Danny off. “You have the key to my house; you know my alarm code; Grace has her own _room;_ I fix you breakfast; and I drive your car. I touch you all the time. Nothing about us has ever been casual. We’ve been dating for months and the reason we haven’t been having sex all this time is either because I’m a lot more subtle than you give me credit for or you’ve completely missed the clue bus.” While he’s waiting for Danny to absorb all that, Steve’s hand does this twist and Danny bangs his head against the table in an effort not to come. When he looks up again Steve has a smug smile on his face and is pointing at the hand on Danny’s cock. “Would you like me to continue?”

“Yes, please, by all means. I don’t know what the fuck I was thinking.” His ‘do go on’ hand gesture makes Steve laugh and that’s the only warning Danny gets before his cock is enveloped in wet heat. It’s over embarrassingly fast after that with Danny clutching at Steve’s shoulders and the edge of the table in an effort not to thrust up into that perfect mouth as he comes. Just as he’s becoming too sensitive, Steve finally lets Danny slip from his mouth and pulls Danny into a sitting position before kissing him. He chases the taste of himself around Steve’s mouth while he’s being tucked back into his trousers. A quick look at his watch tells Danny they’ve got five minutes before they have to leave. “Ninja blow jobs are so unfair,” he says as they break apart.

“Ninja blow jobs?!” Steve says incredulously as he looks down at himself to make sure there are no stains. “Really, Danno?”

“Yes, ninja blow jobs!” Danny checks himself over and grimaces at the small damp spot on his pants. Well, hopefully they’re dark enough that it won’t be noticeable. “You probably have blow jobs like you have faces. If you were wearing camo it would be a guerilla blow job.” Yeah, saying that might have been a mistake because Steve’s got this look in his eye like he’s discovering C4 for the first time. Danny can’t quite find it in himself to be worried about that. “What am I going to do with you?”

“I’ll show you later,” Steve replies and waves the end of his tie at Danny. “I’ll point it out in my copy of The Gay Kama Sutra.” He smirks as Danny looks up at him in shock and points to his ear.  “Kono said she wanted make sure I could hear you guys while I was at the coffee shop.”

“So she fucked with your head too did she?” Danny laughs as he takes Steve’s left hand and unbuttons the cuff so he can roll the sleeve up to the elbow. Then he lifts Steve’s wrist to his mouth and kisses the inside of it before doing the same to Steve’s right arm. As he stands, Steve’s arms automatically slide around his waist and pull him close. “What is she making you get her?” Danny asks as he rebuttons the shirt and expertly ties Steve’s tie.

“Fuck-me-boots. You?”

“Corset,” he says tapping Steve on the heart. “Don’t get blood on this shirt. I have plans for it.” He stops and thinks for a moment. The glasses really are hot. Maybe they should get a pair. “What do the glasses do?”

“Video camera and mic.”

“Oh shit.” Danny turns and looks at the discarded pair of glasses in unmitigated horror.

Steve manages to keep silent for five seconds. “Well, it could have been worse,” he says finally. “We could have gotten splooge all over the camera.”

The end  
  
Snagged from [](http://their-darkness.livejournal.com/profile)[**their_darkness**](http://their-darkness.livejournal.com/)  meme. This was my inspiration for the fic. ^_^

[ ](http://pics.livejournal.com/insanity__inc/pic/000041zk/)

 

 

 

  
 

 

 

 

  



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